whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
