I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we made out on top of his cat.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
