I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
