It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize