Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
