is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am naked and annoyed.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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