1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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