he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
