wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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