looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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