I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
