i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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