guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
