I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
