Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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