It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
