I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
