Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
