have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
