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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
