Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
