It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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