$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
