Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just want to make out with him forever
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
