Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
