I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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