So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
