so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You were trust falling into bushes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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