brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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