i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
