Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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