Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize