we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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