Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
