im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
