The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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