Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
only if we run a train.
done.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
