So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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