I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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