Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
