Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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