C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
