sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
