batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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