I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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