We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
