I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
