His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
