lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
