I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
