He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
