See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
