Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
