can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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