Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize