In the future we'll all be gay
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
