You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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