I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If I die, sorry about rent.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
