Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
