you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
