fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
