if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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