Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
