Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize