So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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