I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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