I faked an abortion last night.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
