Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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