I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
